"How is it that JohnMalkovich.com is taken?" he asks while starring directly at the audience while he views his computer screen.
"Somebody already snatched it," a woman explains. "But I'm him," Malkovich responds. "There's a film about me being me."
The Red star then angrily discovers the website using his name by another man with the same name who appears to enjoy fishing.
Malkovich writes him a letter proclaiming "Guess who? What the [expletive] is going on?" which he signs "Also, John Malkovich."